How to keep your head hosting family at Christmas
If you’re hosting family at Christmas there can be extra pressures and layers from expectations, legacy and baggage. All the joy! this year I’m choosing for it to be more a co-creation and (attempting to!) let go and invite more ease and flow.
My top tips for surviving, even thriving, with guests in your house are:
What can you strip out to make it even simpler. Fewer presents, fewer decorations, fewer activities. Just keep it super simple.
All of our levels are different but for us If we’re hosting Christmas dinner we buy dessert and ready made side dishes like gravy (straining bones and broth on Christmas morning is a way over my limit). If you’re a make it all from scratch, you go for it.!
Get outside everyday, even if it’s just you! If your guests go out for a walk, you get a moment to have a breather.
Say yes to every offer of help and find genuinely useful jobs for everyone to do (bring in logs, light the fire, set the table, chop the carrots, load the dishwasher, scrub the mucky pans, take the bins out, check there’s loo roll in the toilet, entertain the kids etc etc) - say yes and yes and delegate!
Buy a new jigsaw or bring out the old favourites. Stick it on a flat surface and this is a brilliant all-age activity that people can come back to every now and again.
Put on a playlist, music creates a vibe, so choose chilled or jazzy or upbeat or whatever mood you want more of!
Ask your family to each bring a game or reading or poem or story to share - this means it’s not all on you to provide all the hospitality aswell as the entertainment !!
Have a couple of films handy for when it’s all a bit much and everyone needs some down time. One of the best christmasses we’ve had included a lot of watching The Traitors.
If you have repeat guests have some traditions that build year to year. We’d had smoked salmon and horse radish crackers with a glass of bubbly while lunch was cooking a few years in a row, and one year I didn’t do it and it was like I’d cancelled Christmas.
Stay flexible that people (particularly kids becoming teens) may not want to do your traditions anymore!
Lower your expectations. People may not all get on, they probably won’t want to do it your way. I try to let go of what it should be or how I see it working (which is super hard to do when you’re also hosting and it needs some planning) I try to do one small thing that I know will give joy to each person (granny likes a small sparkly gift she can wear through the day, grandpa likes time for a nap early afternoon, my partner and I like a bit of outdoor time just the 2 of us, my kids have a particular dish they love). Beyond that I aim to accept I won’t please everyone and remember that I’m not responsible for everyone else’s Christmas experience. I try to aim for real connection with people rather than fake ho ho ho happiness. Sometimes people want it fake and I get sad. Each year I relearn that one!
I’m feeling the pressure of ‘delivering’ Christmas as I write this. So I’m gonna take a walk, get some fresh air, let go again of expectations I put on myself and invite some more freedom, expansiveness and spaciousness into this year’s proceedings.
let me know how you get on! what are your top tips for hosting family at Christmas - I’d love to hear!
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