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Catalyst Notes

Heart Sinking Mirror Moment - More of the Good Stuff PART 2

I've been away from home, running resilience and wellbeing sessions with clients, for 2 days this week. I usually Facetime my kids in the mornings.

So this week Day 1 and I’m Facetiming my kids while also brushing my teeth, packing my bag for the day, boiling the kettle for hot lemon, all while attempting to style my hair (some sympathy please you know this is no easy task!) I half-heard their stories while I multi-tasked and then hung up.

I checked in with myself and noticed I felt rushed, even frenzied, robbed and sad. I’d missed a moment to connect with my kids and to feel positive emotion in that connection.

DUH! Heart sinking mirror moment.

What would it take to give them 2 mins – even 30 seconds - of pure attention in my morning?

And, thankyou life, because I was running a client session on well-being that day, we’d of course be talking about the Positive Emotion Dial-Up Practice. Ha Ha! Here was my learning opportunity to show up and walk my own talk!? 

Of course I then have a choice, which you may recognise, to go into beat-myself-up rumination mode, a downward spiral and not good for mental, physical or emotional health. I noticed that temptation and chose to say ‘what can I learn from that experience? Tomorrow is another day, what can I do differently in those few moments with my kids tomorrow’.

So it’s the morning of Day 2 of my trip. I’m sitting down, with my phone balanced on the side of my bed, so I can see the full screen and my face is in full view. I Facetime my kids and we look into each others’ eyes. I listen to the stories and hold the silence afterwards. I say ‘I love you’.

I tune into the feelings of connection, of love, of appreciation, of joy. I hang up.

This took 2 mins. I felt amazing.

Coaching prompts

·       What positive emotion can you ‘dial up’ today? Even for a moment? What do you notice?

·       To whom can you give your full attention today? Even for a moment? What do you notice when you do this?

Call to Action:

·       Have a go at this Power Practice, try doing it every day for the next week, and tell me what you notice!

Extra resources:

1.       I mentioned rumination in this post– check out this piece from Centre for Creative Leadership on the difference between stress and pressure and the link between rumination and heart attacks – https://www.ccl.org/articles/white-papers/wake-up-the-surprising-truth-about-what-drives-stress-and-how-leaders-build-resilience-2/  it’s a must read.

2.       Find my pics and inspiration on Instagram @instakatycatalyst and using hashtags #positiveemotiondialup #noticethegoodstuff #feelthegoodstuff


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I write weekly on a mix of topics like leadership, spirituality, change, resilience and wellbeing, navigating and shifting the systems we're in as women and my journey with intersectional feminism. I also share awesome free tips, research and resources that I don't share anywhere else! www.katycatalyst.com/signup

katy murray